My Try at Dating as a Civilian

Last night I went out looking to meet men – not for another Match.com story, not for my next book.  I was just hoping to experience the old girl meets boy thing and have a little fun.  Deciding to practice what I preach I signed up for 8minutedating. Their events consist of equal numbers of men and women rotating through randomly determined 8-minute encounters.

This opportunity was a little unusual in that it catered to singles from 35-49.  They capped the women at 42, and I’m a teensy bit older but it’s not like anyone’s checking IDs.  Skylark, a relaxed, low-key lounge in the Mission was hosting the scene, with the required DJ spinning tunes after the sun goes down.

Considering that a dating study of the Bay Area once revealed that the average resident has fewer than five dates a year.  I’d be beating the odds by having “8 great dates in one night!”  To really set the intention within myself I decided not to leverage my press connections for a complimentary admission and paid the $35 full price.

I registered early to secure myself a seat for the musical chairs dating and was very excited when finally a couple of days before the event I got my confirmation email.  Now what was I going to wear?

After a day spent at my computer putting the finishing touches on the fall catalog for bebe. I had about an hour to get myself into some great clothes and out the door to meet my men. 

First I grabbed my best fitting pair of jeans.  Next I pulled and discarded a half dozen tops on my bed – too boring, too much cleavage, doesn’t fit right –gotta look great from the waist up I’m always telling potential daters.  I finally selected an animal print cami to wear under a linen safari jacket. And I make a mental note to return a couple of those tops on the bed with the tags still on them.  I’ve got just enough time to put some curls in my hair, brush on a bit of mascara and the best blush ever – Nars (Taj Mahal which my actress sister turned me onto) before I dash out the door. 

Leaving behind my typical interviewing tools: digital recorder, camera, notepad and pen.  Earlier my friend, Darryl had called from his vacation in Alabama to remind me “you’re going on dates, not to work.”  We agreed I’d be a fashion writer rather than a singles author for the evening.

Park the car; pound the pavement in the heels I don’t generally wear. Step into the bar; get my nametag and see lights, cameras – and wow ABC television anchor Spencer Christian! Smile you’re on cupid camera!  The new ABC magazine show “The View from the Bay” is taping an episode here tonight!  What’s “The Last Single Girl in the World” to do?  Blow her cover and grab the opportunity to kiss and tell all about her new book?  Or discreetly date undercover as a runway reporter and hope opportunity comes knocking again from TV land?

Work both angles, of course!  The author of “The Single Girl’s Manifesta” gives Spencer her card and promises to follow up with his producers for an appearance on the show.  “Jerusha 507” chats up the guys and is busted by “James 606” who charges, “ I saw you make a beeline for Spencer. What do you really do?”

I had a blast and yes, I did meet a couple of guys I’m hoping want to see me again.  My first date was with Cliff, an engaging Asian graphic designer, who appealed to my aethetsic tastes.  I admit to being stumped by Khai who asked "What do want out of a relationship?"  I immediately felt like I hadn't done the most important part of my mate shopping homework assignment.  I stumbled through an answer about how I wanted to be in a couple that other people said, "hey, there's such a great couple!"  I introduced my date Ivan to Mojitos during the break.  Had too few minutes with M and later we explored our mutual interests over more mojitos at the bar after the event (exchanged number totally against the rules). And my 8^th date was on camera with the very charming Mr. Christian. (He's really as handsome as he looks on TV!) Watch for our date on air later this month!

Comments

[Single Dating]

I think is not a black and White ding,i think guys are scare if they have to deal with a lady.
I know some "Ladys" where play to be a dum girl to get somebody.
Best wishes.
Jutta

[Lisa Delgado]

How To Pick Up Women. The Secrets You Need To Know.

Why do some guys get all the girls? There is a fine art in how to pick up women. Once you know these tips you too can have the babes of your dreams. Your dating life will never be the same again. Read on for all the essential clues in how to pick up women.

The secret in how to pick up women is all about the total package. Make sure that you follow all these tips for the ultimate success in how to pick up women.

Confidence. Women are drawn to guys who appear confident and know where they are going. You need to be able to project some level of self confidence to be successful in how to pick up women. Do not appear to be scared or intimidated by the girls.

Sense of humor. A vital component in how to pick up women. Over 90% of females rate a good sens e of humor in a man as being more important than looks and money. Lighten up and learn how to laugh and your campaign in how to pick up woman will become much easier.

Well dressed. First impressions are vital in how to pick up women. If you do not pass the first visual examination, she will never talk to you.

Clean. Another secret in how to pick up women is to remember that the majority of girls are put off by bad hygiene. A shower, deodorant, toothpaste, clean hair and fingernails, are minimum requirements in how to pick up women.

Relaxed. The more relaxed you are, the more attractive you become. You will never succeed in how to pick up women if you appear desperate and dateless. The secret in how to pick up women is to remember that there are plenty of other fish in the ocean.

Alpha male behavior. The alpha male is the sexually dominant leader in any environment, including the singles bar and parties. He is the dude with the girls hangi ng off him. He gives the appearance of being the natural leader. By adapting the traits of the alpha male you will increase your chances to 100% in how to pick up women.

No old pick up lines. The best tip in how to pick up women is to remember that girls hate tired old pick up lines. They have heard them all before. If you can't think of something amusing to say, then just stick to basic conversation. A secret in how to pick up women is to remember that a girl would prefer a normal conversation to corny jokes.

Smile. Smiles are like magnets and this should be remembered in how to pick up women. Smiles are extremely hard to resist and you should use this to your advantage in your new campaign in how to pick up women.

Listen. Girls find men who will listen a major turn on. Pay the girl some attention and you will be surprised.

Compliments. Sincere flattery is appreciated by all girls. Sleazy comments on physical attributes are not.

Eye contact. Maintaining eye contact with a girl is another secret clue in how to pick up women. By not looking her in the eye, you are giving the impression of being furtive and untrustworthy, even if you are only just shy.

Watch your success with the hot babes soar. By using these tips you will have all the secrets in how to pick up women.

Read More.... Visit www.exclusivedatingsecrets.com

[Lisa Delgado]

Cheating Women. Why Do They Do It?

Why do some women cheat? Can you stop cheating women? More women are choosing to cheat on their partners than ever before. This article will list the main reasons why some women cheat.

1. Revenge. Although you didn't sleep with someone else, you may as well have. You have broken her trust in some other way. Cheating women often sleep with someone else to pay you back for that dodgy investment or the lie she caught you out on. Apologize profusely and hopefully she will forgive you instead of joining the cheating women society.

2. Feeling unappreciated. Do you treat your wife or girlfriend like an unpaid nanny? Do you ever thank her for all those boring chores she does in and out of the house? What is she doing while you are playing golf? Housework? Minding the children? Seeing someone else? Cheating women often do so because they feel totally neglected at home. Show her you do appreciate her. Say thank you. Notice what has been done. Give her some help. Cheating women are looking for some appreciation and thanks.

3. The honeymoon is over. Another motivator for cheating women is that they are not getting enough sex at home. Once that sexual glow has gone and the sex becomes less frequent, cheating women look for it elsewhere. Try and put some time aside for sex. Go to bed early instead o f falling asleep in front of the TV could be all you need to do.

4. Boring sex. Cheating women often say that it is the excitement of the affair that is the big attraction. Sex at home has become boring and routine. Try and put a spark back into your sex life so that your partner need not leave home to find sexual adventure. Cheating women love the thrill of the illicit affair.

5. Low self esteem. Having someone pay attention to you can really boost your ego. Cheating women are often looking for the flattery they are not getting at home. Pay your partner some attention, flatter her, and prevent her from becoming a cheating woman.

6. No intimacy. All women need to feel close to their loved ones. Cheating women have given up on getting it from their partners and are looking elsewhere. Hugs, kisses, massages, all will make her feel closer to you.

7. No emotional input. Women need you to talk about your emotions. You may think it is worse than going to the dentist. Cheating women are looking for the emotional feed back they are not getting at home. Cheating women can be prevented just by expressing your emotions.

8. You cheated first. Cheating women are often paying back their husband for his sexual infidelity. Sexual revenge is a huge motivator for cheating women. This kind of tit for tat is only going to hurt you both.

9. Sayonara. Some cheating women have already mentally left the relationship and are looking for the replacement. Emotionally, this cheating woman has already left you. She probably isn't planning on staying.

With some attention and flattery your partner need not join the lengthening list of cheating women.

Read More Visit: www.exclusivedatingsecrets.com

[Mike]

What do you guys think of www.OmniDate.com? They have animation and fun places to meet virtually.

[Dr.Jeanette Raymond]

it's awful when you are scared to take risks and give because you want to make sure you are going to "get" first.I know someone who gets so disappointed everytime her relationship doesn't work out, because he is too scared to be open, and closes doors that could be loving. At www.drjeanetteraymond.com you can recognize yourself if you are repeatedly wounded by your choice of partners, and find out why. Going for the same types of romantic partners makes the wounds bleed and gives you relationship phobia. At www.drjeanetteraymond.com you can find out how you deal with your pain and whether it works for you. If you date unavailable partners, you are adding salt to the wounds. Visit drjeanetteraymond.com and rewrite your painful script. Be alone no more.

[Mario]

Hi everyone,

I just designed a new dating website that I hope you will enjoy. It will go live in about 2 months.

Meet-n-speak.com

I put a new twist to online dating--the ability to speak to other members--right from your own computer.

If you find someone you like, you can request to voice chat with them if they are online.

All you need is a mic and headphones.

There is no cost. Ever! 100% free.

check it out!

Again, I am going live in 2 months but I want to have members create their profiles beforehand.

Have fun!

Thanks!

[Cordia]

You are so right about what you said about interracial dating. It's okay if the guy is white and the girl is asian. I've dated a few White guys and none of them were willing to get serious. I don't know for sure if it was because I am Black, but I'm almost positive. I think it's very discouraging that a Black female, who is college eduacated, young, pretty, has a good job, and her own home is still never seen as a good catch.