"The Dating Stutter" Epidemic

With the holiday season comes winter colds and other chills, look out for another virus prevalent among men around the bay, “The Dating Stutter.”

Now that my new book, “The Single Girl’s Manifesta”, is out, I’m getting a lot of questions about the dating scene – or lack thereof  – here in the Bay Area.  Although sometimes I feel as clueless as the rest of you – I mean, who can claim to have male/female bonding rituals all figured out? 

The more things change, the more they are the same.  At a party recently I gathered in the kitchen with a couple of twenty-something black women and compared notes as several brothers looked.

“Out here, it’s like guys don’t even know what’s up!” one of them offered.

“Yeah, they see a fine sister and they’re like  ‘Hi, uh … like, uh … would you … can we … there’s this thing happening … well uh … check you later’ and you’re like, what was that?  I mean are you going to ask me out or what?” says the other one, adding fuel to fire.

“It’s ‘the dating stutter,’ ” I explained as the resident dating expert. I think it’s a particular West Coast phenomenon. And not only do they “stutter” when they talk, they stutter when they act as well. “It seems guys out here are just so relaxed.  Want to keep everything nice and easy, they can’t string the words together to ask for the definitive night out!”

“Oh yeah, you got that right – it’s like after they walk away, you’re thinking, what was that?” says the first one, shaking her head from side to side. 

“Now men on the East Coast, they get in there real quick-like,” the second one adds, making a sliding motion with her body. “There’s the ‘Hello gorgeous, what’s your name? How about you and me …’ You say one word to them in response and they think ‘Yes! I’m in!’ and they slide ride in with the date move. If you say ‘not Friday.’  They’ll be like, ‘well girl, get your calendar out and let’s see what works.’ They have a firm intention of getting a date. Guys here lack intention.”

So how ’bout it? Is “the dating stutter” another East Coast/West Coast thing?  Do guys here not know how to close the deal? Let me know what’s up on the dating scene so I can stop the misinformation!

Comments

[Britneyblogger]

Have you seen any decent single sites out there? I have been looking for activities that don’t cost an arm and a leg? In my search, I’ve been on several looking for local events. The only one I can find is http://www.singlesinmotion.com Know of any other?

[bob122]

naughtymatefinder.com

great website for naughty singles looking for some fun!

[JC]

Having lived on both coasts as a single sistah, I agree that the East Coast brothas are more direct and straight forward, while West coast bros are more subdued. However, I still believe that if a brotha wants to get with you--he will find a way!!

[b]

Hi,

I live in the Alexandria, VA. For the sisters on the West Coast: brothers are tripping all over. I am originally from Philly where the brothers do speak (the real East Coast). The metropolitan area (DC) where I work. It is hard to get a hello from a brother let alone a date! The men here will look you up and down and not say a word!!! Don't go to the club, they congregate at the bar the whole night..afraid they might have to buy you a drink!