Feeling a bit Scroogey with my blog – but hey I’ve been spreading good will towards MEN through email – read the messages from my Secret Santas. . .
He says:
I got a good laugh about the email you sent on guys who stutter. Too funny. Women have no idea how much pressure the guys are under in that situation and how much practice it takes to get with getting rejected and coming back for more.
I say:
True Dat!
He says:
“There is an interesting paradox in dating that has always fascinated me. The ones who are the smoothest best dater types are the ones with way too many women and the good guys may not be as good at it as the smooth folks.
Your stutter comment really highlights that phenomenon. I did some dating research on a casual basis at Stanford and was intrigued to find the “Dog syndrome.” In fact I started writing a book "Doggie Style" to address it.
The booked focused on the above paradox in that there were all of these really attractive black women on campus going after the same few dudes. All of the women would talk about how the guy is a dog etc... And all the women were still after the same dudes. Hence if you were on the dog plan all the women seemed to be after you if not- little or no play. Even seems like a primitive nature thing going on there.
I say:
Woof! Woof! This might relate to that other “scientific” study I heard about on why the dogs love bitches. Matchmaking made in. . .
Gotta exit this conversation for a much more pressing dating dilemma that lands in my inbox the next day:
She wrote:
Okay dating buddies, I had a fun date last Wednesday with a guy. Exchanged a couple emails with him saying he had a great time and wants to spend some more time with me over the holidays. He suggests dinner sometime and I say okay, but now I haven't heard from him since Friday. I'm not sure if I should send him another email or not. I'm worried about sounding whiney if I say something like, "haven't heard from you." Does that seem like a long time to not hear from someone who is supposed to be interested?
I advise:
Ok - it's only Tuesday - not even Tuesday night! Relax - it's the holiday season we all have many more commitments than usual - this goes along with my philosophy that if he hasn't called it's not about you - meaning it's not that he's not interested, doesn't like you, etc - he's just got a life - yeah! - sometimes we forget that little fact ; ) - Since you both had a great time - I'd give it at least a week - men just have a different clock - when they say I'll call tomorrow - they actually mean a week from tomorrow –
I'm also finding that a lot of single guys are a little "depressed", or "down" this holiday season - I think men don't have as many emotional connects as women, don't make as many plans to enjoy the holidays - so he could be scared of feeling too needy - nothing wrong with sending him a "holiday cheer email" towards the end of the week if you haven't heard from him - he's either interested and will think you're thoughtful
or...he's just doesn't get how wonderful you are - in the meantime make sure you flirt with all the other cute, friendly guys out celebrating the season!
She confesses:
Oiy!! You were right. Heard from him today and it sounds like he's swamped at work. Pretty funny how my common sense disappears when I like someone. I'm really hoping this one works since I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time. But of course, all other new comers this season are welcome!
I celebrate:
Congratulations! You made it to the other side of the dating minefield!
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