BORN SINGLE

Are Dating Sites Jerking You Around?

“Date Bait!”  “Worthless winks!” “Fake femmes!” DATING FRAUD EXPOSED!!! No response to your online profile? Turns out it may not be you but them – Match.com and Yahoo may be contributing to your failure to find love on the Internet by employing deceptive dating practices.  Internet dating horror stories are commonplace but they usually involve flaky individuals not the service providers.

In two lawsuits filed in the federal courts, one defendant alleges being sent fake profiles to keep him interested.  Another swears that the same woman’s photo appeared in multiple profiles in different cities. Online dating, a half billion dollar industry is generating a potential feeding frenzy among class-action sharks smelling blood money in the murky depths of true love. 

Is it false advertising or are the sham profiles similar to the loss leaders advertised on Black Friday over the Thanksgiving weekend? For example, I arrived at Circuit City, Friday morning to find that all the advertised $200 laptops were gone by 5:05 am.  Seems whether it’s electronics or electronic dating, demand far outstrips supply.

I don’t know if the digital dating service providers should be more afraid of the lawyers or losing their customers.  With a customer dissatisfaction rating of 35%, it won’t be long before more consumers figure out this isn’t where the boys or the girls are. Sounds like online matchmakers are on their way to being just as unloved as used car salesmen.

What’s really wrong with Match’s cyberdating model may not even come out in court. Trish McDermott, the former Vice President of Romance for Match is prepared to kiss and tell.  She suggests that the real problem with the Match business model is that you can’t tell who’s a subscriber and who’s not when you’re winking and emailing potential suitors.  Only subscribers can respond to any digital interest, meaning you could be unlucky enough in love to choose all online teasers. Sure, that cute hunk is single but he’s not available in their database; you might have better luck getting to know him at the neighborhood sports bar.

Hijack the Holidaze!

Do I need yet another reminder that I’m alone in the world?  Yes, I’ll heed the call to action like the herd and hit the mall to buy my mother yet another fabulous scarf, my sister a tchotchke for her new home, and my brother that business book he’s been wanting. But a little voice inside my head says it would be so much more interesting to have to puzzle out “what am I going to get HIM for Christmas?”  You know “The One.”

As I look at Michael D’s holiday list, it conjures up visions of couples snuggled up under the stars looking skyward at twinkling lights reflected in their eyes and kids snaking through the maze of the crowds.  Yet this Thanksgiving, I’m committed to not eating another dried up turkey at my Aunt’s house or sleeping in the spare room with the gang of adolescent singles. 

What’s a modern single girl to do?  As my book, “The Single Girl’s Manifesta’ explains, I’m all about living exquisitely single.  So here’s my plan to create holiday magic:

1)      Get out of town and hit a new singles scene.  I’ll party in LA next week with my single friends.  It’s a “Girls’ Weekend on the Town” – no kids, spouses, or  relatives allowed!!!  A relaxing day at a gorgeous country spa is first on the menu.

2)      Gourmet Gathering to celebrate T –Day. We’re not cooking.  We’re ordering our holiday in!  We’ve invited a few of our male friends in the same singles situation without a place to go for dinner.  We’ll have a blast comparing solo notes over dinner, playing after-dinner games, and minding the bar. By the time it all comes together everyone will truly be feeling like family.

3)      Day After Shopping!  It’s a numbers game – as a group we can scope out the sales and leverage our combined shopping technologies – cell phones, PDAs to get the best deals on hot items for our wardrobes and that fly New Year’s Eve outfit.  And maybe if we’re feeling up to it, we’ll buy a couple of gifts for someone else.

4)      Weekend Warriors Unite!  Of course we’ll be on the hunt for hunks!  This is not the time for online shopping. Everyone will be OUT in the streets – out-of-town visitors, returning siblings, and visiting friends.  We intend to visit all the “meet markets” – bars, jazz clubs, stores, concerts and coffee houses.

Wow – I’m looking forward to a merry, merry. . .

For more Holidaze Hints, see me on KRON4-TV Morning News on November 21, 2005 at 9:20 a.m.